i have been wanting to blog top chef this season but haven't yet because 1. it's tough to blog survivor and top chef when they air on the same night. one of them ends up suffering (guess which one?) and 2. there's just still too many damn chefs to effectively cover everyone. i haven't been able figure out who is who but i'll give it a shot because there's just some commentary that refuses to be silenced by my laziness.
john - who reminds me of tucker from there's something about mary - appears to be this season's resident jerk and could become the sole reason for my blog's existence. and he constantly wears his glasses on his forehead which just makes him look like an asshole if he isn't one in real life. beardie II (josh) gets into to it with tucker in the stew room, calling him a prick, an asshole and declares that he is the most hated chef in dallas for good reason.
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| the real tucker |
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| the original beardie |
tucker and soul patch (micah) are making oxtail - YUM - loooooooove oxtail!
stefan is making some sort of meat ravioli using the front leg meat.
beardie II is making meatballs which look amaze-balls!
CJ is making tartare and is chowing down on the beef as he butchers it. i'm not sure but i think CJ may have a self-esteem issue (read: totally arrogant).
red headed sara gilbert (danyelle) and nondescript female chef eliza are making flank steak.
nondescript female chef brooke and flip chrissy make hangar steak.
model kristen and housewives of NJ (carla) both make the sirloin.
aussie lizzie tackled the pressure cooker with a foreshank.
our resident sad sack, tyler, makes a hispanic style crudo with bottom round.
chilly willy (sheldon) makes a kobe round.
it's a good thing we're having steak for dinner tomorrow because i'm having a serious craving right now.
on the bottom: lizzie, eliza and the sad sack "i can't do anything right." *hangs head*
on the top: beardie II, CJ, and tucker
tucker and his forehead glasses win the quickfire and immunity from the next elimination.
appearance-wise, lizzie, eliza and brooke are interchangeable to me. i can't tell them apart. at all. except one of them has an accent.
for having been the should-be winner from season 5, stefan does not appear to be shining this season. has the caliber gone up or is he just a little rusty?
elimination challenge: revive canlis' menu from 1950 for one night. winner gets $10,000 and two chefs go home. everyone scrambles to take on their part of the menu and since he has immunity, tucker will be the expediter.
of course tucker knows a lot about 1950's cooking because he knows everything about everything.
OMG, TOO MANY CHEFS!
beardie II is making the french onion soup - i bet he could use some pointers from tucker
model kristen is lamenting because she was straddled with measly sides - sauteed mushrooms and fried onions
sara gilbert red is making dessert, the royal hawaiian supreme
chrissy is making the canlis special salad, the only item that has survived the menu for the last 60 years. no pressure here.
housewives of NJ is in charge of the quail and she's using the heel of her hand to mash it into submission.
stefan is making zee liver (i wonder if there's a pearl in it?)
CJ is making shish kebabs
aussie lizzie is making the marinated herring
sad sack tyler is making the crab cocktail, which actually looks pretty stunning
tucker is making the steamed clam bordelaise
nondescript female chef brooke is making the seafood salad a la louis
chilly willy is making the mahi-mahi with beurre blanc
soul patch is making mixed vegetables
sir bart is making double cut new york steak
josie grossy is making the gargantuan baked idaho potato. gargantuan?!?
nondescript female chef eliza is making mint sherbert and the frozen hawaiian parfait
the judges for tonight's dinner include tom colicchio, emeril, and hugh acheson. do you think hugh's eyebrows has met the forehead glasses? maybe if they did, then unibrow could see that it's in serious need of some grooming.
squabs are coming back to the kitchen - that's not good for housewives of NJ!
chef's table:
on top are stefan, model kristen, aussie lizzie and the sad sack. yay, for sad sack! and model kristen wins $10K for her measly side dishes. they must have tasted AWESOME. stefan totally wants to hook up with the model.
on the bottom are housewives of NJ, CJ, chrissy and beardie II. beardie II's soup was salty and cold and he blames tucker for his monkey expediting. chrissy's salad was over-dressed and soggy. housewives of NJ's squab was too bony and difficult to eat. CJ's shish kebabs were underseasoned and mealy. chrissy and housewives of NJ must pack their knives and go. will we miss carla in the kitchen?
oh, but they're doing last chance kitchen again this season. first battle is between jeffrey, my mom, chrissy and housewives of NJ. and the previews show colicchio sending a WHOLE TEAM home?!? what??
quotables:
"i felt like the housewives of seattle" - stefan on the current tucker drama going on in the house
"i like it super dirty" - stefan on classic martinis from the 50's
"the belgian guy that speaks french, whatever." - geography king beardie II on having the "french" guy (sir bart) make the french onion soup
"behind you. big giant...thing of...stuff." - CJ, clearly a very eloquent speaker
"josie's potato is like a planet!" - nondescript female chef on josie grossy's gargantuan baked potato
LAST CHANCE KITCHEN: the first installment pits jeffrey, kuniko, chrissy and carla against one another. their challenge: prepare a winning dish using the same ingredients that got them ousted - can be the same one or an entirely new dish but they must use the given main ingredients. kuniko is the only one of the group that chooses to make a completely different dish, she makes an asian potato chowder. tom declares that all of the contestants have presented dishes that would NOT have sent them home except carla's squab. poor housewives of NJ. kuniko's dish is the winner and she will move on to battle next week's eliminated chef.
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