Survivor Philippines, episode 13, air date Dec. 12, 2012
upon returning from tribal council, abi finally shows some graciousness and thanks the group for not sending her home. and malcolm pets her on the head like a dog. what abi doesn't get is that carter was only voted out because he was a threat at challenges. thankfully malcolm is always thinking and is reading into lisa's comments at tribal about taking someone to the final who she can beat - that would not be malcolm! and probably not denise. hopefully the two of them can work out a plan that ensures they will make it to the end. i don't care who the final three are as long as malcolm and denise are there.
abi tries to plant seeds of doubt with lisa that she is the low man in their 4-way alliance. lisa doesn't believe a word she says but she's playing abi well, keeping her close in case she needs her. lisa is still talking about when to make her "big move." i'm not sure if she knows but there's only a few days left!
#rewardchallenge - race up and down a slide into the ocean and grab two bundles of rings. throw and hook the rings on 5 pegs to win reward. winner gets to take two buddies along with him. this slide is kicking lisa's ass as she comes tumbling down, end over side over butt. skupin and malcolm lead this challenge early on. it's neck and neck between these two but skupin takes the win. after his win, abi demands a hug. maybe she's hoping some hoochie hoochie get her a spot on the reward chopper. skupin picks malcolm and denise to join him and gives his share of tribe food to denise and offers to do her dishes. "poor" abi got nothing and seems heartbroken. hey remember a few episodes ago when you hated skupin so much you wanted him gone and tried to kill him with a coconut? you reap what you sow!
back at camp abi says she's "crushed" and "really heartbroken" that she wasn't chosen to go on reward. what made her think that any one of the other four players would pick her to go??? she already knows (and has reminded us several times) that she is unlikable. then she disses denise, calling her terrible and wonders why no one likes her. meanwhile, denise is just tolerating her, listening to her babble about being the swing vote (??? is she delusional or just saying it in hopes of convincing people?) and her hidden immunity idol, blah blah blah. shut. up.
PLEASE let denise win immunity...or malcolm win so he can give one to denise. please.
what they played for: helicopter ride to a boat ride with pizza, soda and shark watching (and chocolate chip cookies!). skupin calls soda "pop". i often wonder if the majority of the U.S. says "soda" or "pop"? my friend from chicago laughed at me when i said "soda." she said "you sound so old fashioned!" really? I sound old fashioned??
anyway...
apparently skupin doesn't normally consume sugar but now he's had 4 sodas and is acting like a drunk chick at a bar (malcolm's words, not mine) and daring lisa to eat pizza off a flipper. then they go swimming with a HUGE whale shark and since the sea creatures are also aware of skupin's affinity for injury, the shark gives him a little bump for good measure. strategy talk starts and malcolm says he wants to cut denise out - what?! say it ain't so! come on, they've had a tight alliance since the beginning, they even hugged on it.
is denise having a heart attack? eek, it looks like she got bit by something really nasty, looking at the fang marks on her neck (edward?). dammit, i hope this doesn't force her out of the game, leaving abi in the final four. but instead of consulting medical, why don't we just pray on it?
#immunitychallenge - walk across a rope bridge by moving wood planks, grab maze pieces along the way, put the maze puzzle together and get a ball through the maze. everyone is neck in neck until malcolm falls off and has to go back to the beginning of the rope bridge and start all over again and it takes him FOREVER to catch up with everyone else at the puzzle phase. denise is the only one who is close to completing the maze but is still a few pieces off - go denise! then out of nowhere, malcolm destroys the puzzle and has the ball through before anyone even knows what hit them. malcolm now has double immunity, what will he do with it? could he possibly sniff out lisa's plan to keep abi and give immunity to denise?
as soon as they get back, skupin tries to throw himself in the fire again. oh, and abi starts scrambling to make a deal with lisa & skupin to take her to the end because they would have a better chance to win.
tribal council:
- as usual, everything is laid out on the table during tribal. there are no secrets here, not with abi-maria around!
- abi comes out and tells everyone that they should vote out denise because she's impossible to beat. malcolm is listening intently to all this. PLEASE give denise your HII!
- oh wait, abi's not done. she tells skupin point blank that he will not win a million dollars, he's an idiot and a moron (twice). that's a sure way to secure any deal you may have made with him. duh.
- and after abusing skupin abi calls denise a terrible person. denise, who seems like the most level-headed and even-keeled person in this game. how can she not hear herself? she's so loud!
- penner gives everyone the finger but i'm guessing it's directed towards lisa and skupin.
- 1 vote denise, 4 votes abi. so long bitchy lady! god i'm so happy i don't have to hear her mouth again until the final tribal.
and with that, poisonous abi is finally, FINALLY gone...as skupin skips and dances away from tribal council. previews show denise plotting against malcolm so i guess everyone is in this game to win. yay, finally.
Saturday, December 15, 2012
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
top chef seattle: "birthday curse"
Top Chef Seattle, episode 05, air date Dec. 05, 2012
and now we're down to 14 chefs. more manageable? i hope so.
the sad sack
apparently there's a top chef birthday curse in new york where chefs had been eliminated on their birthdays...and it's stefan's 40th birthday! should he be worried?
quickfire: our guest judge today is daisley gordon of marche. the chefs have to pair up into teams of two. how the heck does beardie II end up with tucker??? it's not even like they were the very last two left that nobody wanted. is this a stunt to guarantee more airtime for the both of them? the challenge: make breakfast to go...on a stick. huh? daisley provides his pantry and they have to go shop for their cooking equipment...in an hour.
-not sure what team sara gilbert/aussie were doing but by the time they go to get food there are no eggs or dairy left. don't you know this is a QUICKfire? so they decide to make a european pancetta summer berry thing instead. comments are how delicious it is but it doesn't look substantial enough or terribly complex.
- team NDFC brooke/stefan are doing a pressed croque monsieur (aroo?) using ham, cheese, toasted fig and challah. holla!
it's hilarious to watch the scuttle butt in sur la table - especially sir bart trying to get around huge CJ and not having much success.
- team model/soul patch have joined forces because they're youngest. ok sure. they make a bacon & cinnamon waffle with cantaloupe.
- team beardie II/tucker are making breakfast tacos. again WHY did these two pair up when they clearly don't like each other??? how nice for the producers.
- team CJ/sad sack is making salmon on stick with a cream cheese arugla crepe. sounds yummy but how do you get that on a stick?
- team josie grossy/NDFC eliza is making ricotta raspberry pancake with sausage which looks like a napoleon on a stick.
- team sir bart/chilly willy make egg, pancetta, spinach & cheese paninis. all i know is sir bart is providing lots of visual comedy in this quickfire. between getting squashed by CJ at the store, going splat with the panini machine, and then doing lord-knows-what with some object on leg - it looks like he's going to town on himself...in a friendly way.
i just want to knock those forehead glasses off his head!
bottoms: sara gilbert/aussie with their berry pancetta and josie grossy/NDFC eliza with their ricotta pancake. the women are not doing well so far.
tops: sir bart/chilly willy with their panini and beardie II/tucker with their taco.
winner of the quickfire - sir bart and chilly willy! they are safe from elimination in the next challenge.
elimination challenge: chefs have to stay in the same teams for the elimination - too bad for beardie II but how convenient for the producers. the teams draw knives with various food ingredients which i assume can be found in pike place market. teams must make a lunch meal highlighting their ingredient.
- team sir bart/chilly willy draw salmon candy. their dish is candied salmon with a sweet and sour salad. i think i see some salmon roe in there. after this dish i think i'd be looking for some more lunch.
- team beardie II/tucker draw truffle popcorn. tucker is talking a mile a minute. beardie II looks like all he hears is "wonk-wonk-wonk wonk wonk." they make a pork tenderloin with popcorn grits. both of them have issues with what the other is doing yet neither is speaking up. do the realize that if their dish sucks THEY COULD GO HOME? idiots.
- team stefan/NDFC brooke draw rose petal jelly. duck with candied red cabbage.
- team CJ/the sad sack draw spicy dill pickles. neither of their ideas sound like they would highlight the pickle ingredient. but sad sack is definitely the more submissive of the two chefs so i'm sure they'll end up making CJ's pork burger with pickle topping.
- team josie grossy/NDFC eliza draw cardamom bitters. i didn't watch her season but i don't care for josie. i'm not seeing much talent and she's not likable. poor NDFC eliza.josie's their dish is a white king salmon with clam broth.
- team sara gilbert/aussie draw coconut curry chocolate. aussie wants to pair it with fish but sara gilbert is full steam ahead on dessert so aussie feels a bit steam rolled. sounds like will bite her in the ass later. and then sara gilbert declares that neither of them are dessert people - THEN WHY DO A DESSERT?? they make a coconut curry chocolate mousse tart.
- team model/soul patch draw cheese curds. they make curds three ways - bechamel, fried and raw.
hates: all of them. they have decided to eliminate a whole team. and he confirms the last chance kitchen myth to the cheftestants but they're too busy cowering from tom's reprimand to react.
loves: no one. for the first time ever (i think) the prize is rescinded and every one is told they suck.
sad sack says "if it happens tomorrow, it happens...i guess we weren't as creative as those all guys wanted" and beardie II just explodes. why? because he's a SAD SACK. he really has no business being in this competition and he seems to lack the confidence/ego to be a real chef. he's still here while a capable, inspired chef like kuniko is gone. that's an injustice. go LCK!
this top chef healthy choice commercial is kind of cracking me up "for years i thought i hated children's laughter. i had no idea, i was just hungry."
stefan worries that the birthday curse is coming for him and lo and behold, his team is selected for the bottom of the bottom along with beardie II/tucker and CJ/sad sack. judges' table basically rips into all three teams although they seemed to lay less heavily into stefan/NDFC brooke. as a last ditch effort, CJ tries to throw the dessert team under the bus - even though they're not on the chopping block - calling it an "abhorrence" and "a debacle, it was diabolical, it was a travesty." and unibrow hugh zings him with "uh-oh, 'cause your burger was even worse." at least they all had a good laugh about it.
knife packers: CJ and sad sack. so now sad sack has validated his outlook and CJ is a failure bitch.
quotables:
"chrissy who? carla who? bye! next one in line..." - stefan on his love for the recently eliminated chefs
"women in the 1500's probably put them on them because they were smelly." - stefan on his elimination challenge ingredient of rose petal jelly.
"the cupboard is bare just like everyone's imagination today, evidently." - tucker after their poor performance at the elimination challenge.
"i would feel like a total, absolute, like, failure bitch." - CJ on regrets about competing again.
"if you get too much, it feels like you're eating somebody's grandmother." - hugh acheson on rose petal jelly. umm...yeah.
LAST CHANCE KITCHEN: so now kuniko must battle CJ and sad sack for the top spot. who will win it? since CJ so thoroughly dissed another team's dessert, tom announced that they will be making dessert for LCK. and since CJ works so well in a team, he has to work with sad sack on the dish so it has become kuniko vs/ CJ/sad sack. sad sack decides to grow a spine (or at least some cartilage) since it was CJ's burger idea that got them ousted in the first place. he suggests some kind of smoked fruit fritter while CJ throws in hay ice cream. sad sack also grows a personality "HAY ice cream???? ok, FREAK-O!" when sad sack calls you a freak, you know it's bad. why is there even hay in the pantry? kuniko is making a lemon curd with a cylindrical fruit compote and i'm afraid it won't be enough.
tasting: tom actually enjoys both dishes as they both have savory elements to them (olive oil, kuniko, really?). but in the end CJ/sad sack take the prize. and apparently sad sack's nickname for himself is T-dog. not T-bone or KoKo? dang it, i'm sad to see my mom has been defeated. i'm not sure what this "save a chef" thing is that bravo is doing - is it like last last chance kitchen?
and now we're down to 14 chefs. more manageable? i hope so.
the sad sack
apparently there's a top chef birthday curse in new york where chefs had been eliminated on their birthdays...and it's stefan's 40th birthday! should he be worried?
quickfire: our guest judge today is daisley gordon of marche. the chefs have to pair up into teams of two. how the heck does beardie II end up with tucker??? it's not even like they were the very last two left that nobody wanted. is this a stunt to guarantee more airtime for the both of them? the challenge: make breakfast to go...on a stick. huh? daisley provides his pantry and they have to go shop for their cooking equipment...in an hour.
-not sure what team sara gilbert/aussie were doing but by the time they go to get food there are no eggs or dairy left. don't you know this is a QUICKfire? so they decide to make a european pancetta summer berry thing instead. comments are how delicious it is but it doesn't look substantial enough or terribly complex.
- team NDFC brooke/stefan are doing a pressed croque monsieur (aroo?) using ham, cheese, toasted fig and challah. holla!
it's hilarious to watch the scuttle butt in sur la table - especially sir bart trying to get around huge CJ and not having much success.
- team model/soul patch have joined forces because they're youngest. ok sure. they make a bacon & cinnamon waffle with cantaloupe.
- team beardie II/tucker are making breakfast tacos. again WHY did these two pair up when they clearly don't like each other??? how nice for the producers.
- team CJ/sad sack is making salmon on stick with a cream cheese arugla crepe. sounds yummy but how do you get that on a stick?
- team josie grossy/NDFC eliza is making ricotta raspberry pancake with sausage which looks like a napoleon on a stick.
- team sir bart/chilly willy make egg, pancetta, spinach & cheese paninis. all i know is sir bart is providing lots of visual comedy in this quickfire. between getting squashed by CJ at the store, going splat with the panini machine, and then doing lord-knows-what with some object on leg - it looks like he's going to town on himself...in a friendly way.
i just want to knock those forehead glasses off his head!
bottoms: sara gilbert/aussie with their berry pancetta and josie grossy/NDFC eliza with their ricotta pancake. the women are not doing well so far.
tops: sir bart/chilly willy with their panini and beardie II/tucker with their taco.
winner of the quickfire - sir bart and chilly willy! they are safe from elimination in the next challenge.
elimination challenge: chefs have to stay in the same teams for the elimination - too bad for beardie II but how convenient for the producers. the teams draw knives with various food ingredients which i assume can be found in pike place market. teams must make a lunch meal highlighting their ingredient.
- team sir bart/chilly willy draw salmon candy. their dish is candied salmon with a sweet and sour salad. i think i see some salmon roe in there. after this dish i think i'd be looking for some more lunch.
- team beardie II/tucker draw truffle popcorn. tucker is talking a mile a minute. beardie II looks like all he hears is "wonk-wonk-wonk wonk wonk." they make a pork tenderloin with popcorn grits. both of them have issues with what the other is doing yet neither is speaking up. do the realize that if their dish sucks THEY COULD GO HOME? idiots.
- team stefan/NDFC brooke draw rose petal jelly. duck with candied red cabbage.
- team CJ/the sad sack draw spicy dill pickles. neither of their ideas sound like they would highlight the pickle ingredient. but sad sack is definitely the more submissive of the two chefs so i'm sure they'll end up making CJ's pork burger with pickle topping.
- team josie grossy/NDFC eliza draw cardamom bitters. i didn't watch her season but i don't care for josie. i'm not seeing much talent and she's not likable. poor NDFC eliza.
- team sara gilbert/aussie draw coconut curry chocolate. aussie wants to pair it with fish but sara gilbert is full steam ahead on dessert so aussie feels a bit steam rolled. sounds like will bite her in the ass later. and then sara gilbert declares that neither of them are dessert people - THEN WHY DO A DESSERT?? they make a coconut curry chocolate mousse tart.
- team model/soul patch draw cheese curds. they make curds three ways - bechamel, fried and raw.
hates: all of them. they have decided to eliminate a whole team. and he confirms the last chance kitchen myth to the cheftestants but they're too busy cowering from tom's reprimand to react.
loves: no one. for the first time ever (i think) the prize is rescinded and every one is told they suck.
sad sack says "if it happens tomorrow, it happens...i guess we weren't as creative as those all guys wanted" and beardie II just explodes. why? because he's a SAD SACK. he really has no business being in this competition and he seems to lack the confidence/ego to be a real chef. he's still here while a capable, inspired chef like kuniko is gone. that's an injustice. go LCK!
this top chef healthy choice commercial is kind of cracking me up "for years i thought i hated children's laughter. i had no idea, i was just hungry."
stefan worries that the birthday curse is coming for him and lo and behold, his team is selected for the bottom of the bottom along with beardie II/tucker and CJ/sad sack. judges' table basically rips into all three teams although they seemed to lay less heavily into stefan/NDFC brooke. as a last ditch effort, CJ tries to throw the dessert team under the bus - even though they're not on the chopping block - calling it an "abhorrence" and "a debacle, it was diabolical, it was a travesty." and unibrow hugh zings him with "uh-oh, 'cause your burger was even worse." at least they all had a good laugh about it.
knife packers: CJ and sad sack. so now sad sack has validated his outlook and CJ is a failure bitch.
quotables:
"chrissy who? carla who? bye! next one in line..." - stefan on his love for the recently eliminated chefs
"women in the 1500's probably put them on them because they were smelly." - stefan on his elimination challenge ingredient of rose petal jelly.
"the cupboard is bare just like everyone's imagination today, evidently." - tucker after their poor performance at the elimination challenge.
"i would feel like a total, absolute, like, failure bitch." - CJ on regrets about competing again.
"if you get too much, it feels like you're eating somebody's grandmother." - hugh acheson on rose petal jelly. umm...yeah.
LAST CHANCE KITCHEN: so now kuniko must battle CJ and sad sack for the top spot. who will win it? since CJ so thoroughly dissed another team's dessert, tom announced that they will be making dessert for LCK. and since CJ works so well in a team, he has to work with sad sack on the dish so it has become kuniko vs/ CJ/sad sack. sad sack decides to grow a spine (or at least some cartilage) since it was CJ's burger idea that got them ousted in the first place. he suggests some kind of smoked fruit fritter while CJ throws in hay ice cream. sad sack also grows a personality "HAY ice cream???? ok, FREAK-O!" when sad sack calls you a freak, you know it's bad. why is there even hay in the pantry? kuniko is making a lemon curd with a cylindrical fruit compote and i'm afraid it won't be enough.
tasting: tom actually enjoys both dishes as they both have savory elements to them (olive oil, kuniko, really?). but in the end CJ/sad sack take the prize. and apparently sad sack's nickname for himself is T-dog. not T-bone or KoKo? dang it, i'm sad to see my mom has been defeated. i'm not sure what this "save a chef" thing is that bravo is doing - is it like last last chance kitchen?
Friday, December 7, 2012
survivor philippines: "poof..and lisa's plan is shot into smithereens"
Survivor Philippines, episode 12, air date Dec. 5, 2012
true to form, carter is not thinking about the fact that he is on the outside of the main alliance. or about strategy. or thinking at all.
#rewardchallenge - it's time for the loved ones challenge. lisa can hardly contain herself. skupin "litrally" slobbers all over his son. how tall is carter's mom? either he's a giant or she's only about 3 feet tall. lisa's brother comes out calling her "sister, sister" (weird?) and lisa just disintegrates. he also looks MUCH younger than her. abi's mom comes to visit. and as previewed, malcolm's brother is on hand. a couple interesting comments to note: malcolm says "i look so good now without a shirt on you won't believe." does this mean malcolm doesn't normally look good shirtless? is he typically chunkier/flabbier? and then he says "did you see jeff?" and his brother starts giggling like a school girl.
the challenge involves the survivor tossing a muddy bag to their loved one who will then use the muddy bag to knock down bamboo targets. abi is unable to get any bags to her mom as she continues to duck for cover every time a bag comes near her. fail. it's a pretty close race between everyone except abi but malcolm ends up winning the challenge. he gets to pick two to join him so he picks lisa and skupin to keep them tight in their alliance. poor denise.
what they played for: an overnight stay with their loved ones back at camp.
mike skupin jr. shows us that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree as he scrapes his arms bloody in an attempt to get coconuts. self injury must be in their DNA.
lisa, skupin and their loved ones are now talking about blindsiding malcolm and his idol. as usual lisa is having moral issues because she has given malcolm her word in their alliance but her brother is doing a pretty good job of helping her be OK with it. i bet malcolm will regret picking these two to hang out at camp. and even worse, as a result of this change in plans it could mean the abi survives another week. nooooo!
lisa's brother: i wonder what jesus would look like playing survivor?
skupin: sadly, a little bit like malcolm.
group laughter
lisa: and he would probably play like carter which is even worse!
ZING!
#immunitychallenge - race across balance beams, fish 3 bags of sticks out of the water, build a long stick with strings to poke the paddle and release a flag to win. abi seriously DRAGS ASS in this challenge, like she has absolutely nothing to worry about. does she know about the blindside malcolm plan? she's taking her sweet old time placing her bags on her shoulders like she's out clothes shopping or something. is she stupid or does she just not care? probst is totally calling her out on it.
lisa, skupin, carter and malcolm all give their sticks a shot at the paddle but most have to go back and re-adjust. malcolm looks like a drowned rat with his hair in his face and - HA, he's sticking his tongue out like a 5 year old does when using scissors - really concentrating. hilarious! and i guess it helps because he manages to maneuver his stick (hee hee) enough to win immunity! it is his first immunity win and it couldn't have come at a better time. with his HII, this means malcolm is guaranteed final four - woot woot! he is giddy with excitement. me too, me too.
denise looks like she is the only one who is truly happy for him, she is positively beaming. will he keep his word and take her to the end even though he doesn't think he can beat her? i wonder who malcolm thinks he has the best chance against?
unbelievably, they are talking about the possibility of voting out carter because he is a threat to win immunity. and when carter walks in on skupin and malcolm discussing his possible demise, he barely fights for himself. dude. don't you have any game?
abi is still hilariously trying to pretend like she has a HII. i'm not even sure anyone believes it because it never comes up during their strategy talks. she claims that if you say something enough, people will believe it. i think the only one she has convinced is herself.
malcolm makes a harry potter reference when he compares abi to a dementor. *swoon!* and he tells us he has webbed toes. *un-swoon*
tribal council:
- the jury comes in and there are lots of looks between penner and the castaways.
- skupin loves carter like a son.
- penner is shaking his head in disbelief that lisa would want to win the game by taking someone she knows she can beat to the finals. i guess that's why he's sitting over there!
- now abi is talking about her "fantasy" HII at tribal council! even penner is smirking about that one.
- jeff keeps pitting denise against abi, almost like he KNOWS that denise's words will hurt her the most. because they are the most honest, perhaps?
- will abi play her fake stick idol anyway, even though it will have no impact?
- 1 vote abi, 4 votes carter and carter is sent on his way. unbelievable. i have no love for carter but it sucks that abi gets to stick around any longer than necessary.
even in his farewell video, carter is incapable of inflecting any emotion in his voice. at. all. why is he SO dull??? i want to smack him just to see if he reacts in any normal way. what was on his audition tape that convinced them to cast him? whatever it was, he brought none of it with him to the philippines.
next week's previews show lisa entertaining the possibility of taking abi to the end so she can win. god help us all. i like lisa but her constant wishy washy-ness and "want to do the right thing" BS is starting to get on my nerves. i love the facts of life but it's time for blair warner to go. unfortunately that leaves skupin in the final 3. ugh, i can't win. go, go malcolm or denise!
true to form, carter is not thinking about the fact that he is on the outside of the main alliance. or about strategy. or thinking at all.
#rewardchallenge - it's time for the loved ones challenge. lisa can hardly contain herself. skupin "litrally" slobbers all over his son. how tall is carter's mom? either he's a giant or she's only about 3 feet tall. lisa's brother comes out calling her "sister, sister" (weird?) and lisa just disintegrates. he also looks MUCH younger than her. abi's mom comes to visit. and as previewed, malcolm's brother is on hand. a couple interesting comments to note: malcolm says "i look so good now without a shirt on you won't believe." does this mean malcolm doesn't normally look good shirtless? is he typically chunkier/flabbier? and then he says "did you see jeff?" and his brother starts giggling like a school girl.
 |
| heeheeheehee, it's jeff probst! |
what they played for: an overnight stay with their loved ones back at camp.
mike skupin jr. shows us that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree as he scrapes his arms bloody in an attempt to get coconuts. self injury must be in their DNA.
lisa, skupin and their loved ones are now talking about blindsiding malcolm and his idol. as usual lisa is having moral issues because she has given malcolm her word in their alliance but her brother is doing a pretty good job of helping her be OK with it. i bet malcolm will regret picking these two to hang out at camp. and even worse, as a result of this change in plans it could mean the abi survives another week. nooooo!
lisa's brother: i wonder what jesus would look like playing survivor?
skupin: sadly, a little bit like malcolm.
group laughter
lisa: and he would probably play like carter which is even worse!
ZING!
#immunitychallenge - race across balance beams, fish 3 bags of sticks out of the water, build a long stick with strings to poke the paddle and release a flag to win. abi seriously DRAGS ASS in this challenge, like she has absolutely nothing to worry about. does she know about the blindside malcolm plan? she's taking her sweet old time placing her bags on her shoulders like she's out clothes shopping or something. is she stupid or does she just not care? probst is totally calling her out on it.
 |
| how am i going to fit all this the trunk? |
 |
| "abi, what are you doing?! pick it up!" |
lisa, skupin, carter and malcolm all give their sticks a shot at the paddle but most have to go back and re-adjust. malcolm looks like a drowned rat with his hair in his face and - HA, he's sticking his tongue out like a 5 year old does when using scissors - really concentrating. hilarious! and i guess it helps because he manages to maneuver his stick (hee hee) enough to win immunity! it is his first immunity win and it couldn't have come at a better time. with his HII, this means malcolm is guaranteed final four - woot woot! he is giddy with excitement. me too, me too.
 |
| i think i can, i think i can |
 |
| proud mama |
abi is still hilariously trying to pretend like she has a HII. i'm not even sure anyone believes it because it never comes up during their strategy talks. she claims that if you say something enough, people will believe it. i think the only one she has convinced is herself.
malcolm makes a harry potter reference when he compares abi to a dementor. *swoon!* and he tells us he has webbed toes. *un-swoon*
tribal council:
- the jury comes in and there are lots of looks between penner and the castaways.
- skupin loves carter like a son.
- penner is shaking his head in disbelief that lisa would want to win the game by taking someone she knows she can beat to the finals. i guess that's why he's sitting over there!
- now abi is talking about her "fantasy" HII at tribal council! even penner is smirking about that one.
- jeff keeps pitting denise against abi, almost like he KNOWS that denise's words will hurt her the most. because they are the most honest, perhaps?
- will abi play her fake stick idol anyway, even though it will have no impact?
- 1 vote abi, 4 votes carter and carter is sent on his way. unbelievable. i have no love for carter but it sucks that abi gets to stick around any longer than necessary.
 |
| by day 33, this group is looking pretty well beat up |
next week's previews show lisa entertaining the possibility of taking abi to the end so she can win. god help us all. i like lisa but her constant wishy washy-ness and "want to do the right thing" BS is starting to get on my nerves. i love the facts of life but it's time for blair warner to go. unfortunately that leaves skupin in the final 3. ugh, i can't win. go, go malcolm or denise!
Thursday, December 6, 2012
top chef seattle: "two all day!"
top chef seattle, episode 04, air date november 28, 2012
i have been wanting to blog top chef this season but haven't yet because 1. it's tough to blog survivor and top chef when they air on the same night. one of them ends up suffering (guess which one?) and 2. there's just still too many damn chefs to effectively cover everyone. i haven't been able figure out who is who but i'll give it a shot because there's just some commentary that refuses to be silenced by my laziness.
john - who reminds me of tucker from there's something about mary - appears to be this season's resident jerk and could become the sole reason for my blog's existence. and he constantly wears his glasses on his forehead which just makes him look like an asshole if he isn't one in real life. beardie II (josh) gets into to it with tucker in the stew room, calling him a prick, an asshole and declares that he is the most hated chef in dallas for good reason.
quickfire: our guest judge is naomi pomeroy who apparently serves a lot of "land roaming animals" at her restaurant Beast. the cheftestants have to butcher their own beef to make a dish in one hour.
tucker and soul patch (micah) are making oxtail - YUM - loooooooove oxtail!
stefan is making some sort of meat ravioli using the front leg meat.
beardie II is making meatballs which look amaze-balls!
CJ is making tartare and is chowing down on the beef as he butchers it. i'm not sure but i think CJ may have a self-esteem issue (read: totally arrogant).
red headed sara gilbert (danyelle) and nondescript female chef eliza are making flank steak.
nondescript female chef brooke and flip chrissy make hangar steak.
model kristen and housewives of NJ (carla) both make the sirloin.
aussie lizzie tackled the pressure cooker with a foreshank.
our resident sad sack, tyler, makes a hispanic style crudo with bottom round.
chilly willy (sheldon) makes a kobe round.
it's a good thing we're having steak for dinner tomorrow because i'm having a serious craving right now.
on the bottom: lizzie, eliza and the sad sack "i can't do anything right." *hangs head*
on the top: beardie II, CJ, and tucker
tucker and his forehead glasses win the quickfire and immunity from the next elimination.
appearance-wise, lizzie, eliza and brooke are interchangeable to me. i can't tell them apart. at all. except one of them has an accent.
for having been the should-be winner from season 5, stefan does not appear to be shining this season. has the caliber gone up or is he just a little rusty?
elimination challenge: revive canlis' menu from 1950 for one night. winner gets $10,000 and two chefs go home. everyone scrambles to take on their part of the menu and since he has immunity, tucker will be the expediter.
of course tucker knows a lot about 1950's cooking because he knows everything about everything.
OMG, TOO MANY CHEFS!
beardie II is making the french onion soup - i bet he could use some pointers from tucker
model kristen is lamenting because she was straddled with measly sides - sauteed mushrooms and fried onions
sara gilbert red is making dessert, the royal hawaiian supreme
chrissy is making the canlis special salad, the only item that has survived the menu for the last 60 years. no pressure here.
housewives of NJ is in charge of the quail and she's using the heel of her hand to mash it into submission.
stefan is making zee liver (i wonder if there's a pearl in it?)
CJ is making shish kebabs
aussie lizzie is making the marinated herring
sad sack tyler is making the crab cocktail, which actually looks pretty stunning
tucker is making the steamed clam bordelaise
nondescript female chef brooke is making the seafood salad a la louis
chilly willy is making the mahi-mahi with beurre blanc
soul patch is making mixed vegetables
sir bart is making double cut new york steak
josie grossy is making the gargantuan baked idaho potato. gargantuan?!?
nondescript female chef eliza is making mint sherbert and the frozen hawaiian parfait
the judges for tonight's dinner include tom colicchio, emeril, and hugh acheson. do you think hugh's eyebrows has met the forehead glasses? maybe if they did, then unibrow could see that it's in serious need of some grooming.
squabs are coming back to the kitchen - that's not good for housewives of NJ!
chef's table:
on top are stefan, model kristen, aussie lizzie and the sad sack. yay, for sad sack! and model kristen wins $10K for her measly side dishes. they must have tasted AWESOME. stefan totally wants to hook up with the model.
on the bottom are housewives of NJ, CJ, chrissy and beardie II. beardie II's soup was salty and cold and he blames tucker for his monkey expediting. chrissy's salad was over-dressed and soggy. housewives of NJ's squab was too bony and difficult to eat. CJ's shish kebabs were underseasoned and mealy. chrissy and housewives of NJ must pack their knives and go. will we miss carla in the kitchen?
oh, but they're doing last chance kitchen again this season. first battle is between jeffrey, my mom, chrissy and housewives of NJ. and the previews show colicchio sending a WHOLE TEAM home?!? what??
quotables:
"i felt like the housewives of seattle" - stefan on the current tucker drama going on in the house
"i like it super dirty" - stefan on classic martinis from the 50's
"the belgian guy that speaks french, whatever." - geography king beardie II on having the "french" guy (sir bart) make the french onion soup
"behind you. big giant...thing of...stuff." - CJ, clearly a very eloquent speaker
"josie's potato is like a planet!" - nondescript female chef on josie grossy's gargantuan baked potato
LAST CHANCE KITCHEN: the first installment pits jeffrey, kuniko, chrissy and carla against one another. their challenge: prepare a winning dish using the same ingredients that got them ousted - can be the same one or an entirely new dish but they must use the given main ingredients. kuniko is the only one of the group that chooses to make a completely different dish, she makes an asian potato chowder. tom declares that all of the contestants have presented dishes that would NOT have sent them home except carla's squab. poor housewives of NJ. kuniko's dish is the winner and she will move on to battle next week's eliminated chef.
i have been wanting to blog top chef this season but haven't yet because 1. it's tough to blog survivor and top chef when they air on the same night. one of them ends up suffering (guess which one?) and 2. there's just still too many damn chefs to effectively cover everyone. i haven't been able figure out who is who but i'll give it a shot because there's just some commentary that refuses to be silenced by my laziness.
john - who reminds me of tucker from there's something about mary - appears to be this season's resident jerk and could become the sole reason for my blog's existence. and he constantly wears his glasses on his forehead which just makes him look like an asshole if he isn't one in real life. beardie II (josh) gets into to it with tucker in the stew room, calling him a prick, an asshole and declares that he is the most hated chef in dallas for good reason.
 |
| the real tucker |
 |
| the original beardie |
tucker and soul patch (micah) are making oxtail - YUM - loooooooove oxtail!
stefan is making some sort of meat ravioli using the front leg meat.
beardie II is making meatballs which look amaze-balls!
CJ is making tartare and is chowing down on the beef as he butchers it. i'm not sure but i think CJ may have a self-esteem issue (read: totally arrogant).
red headed sara gilbert (danyelle) and nondescript female chef eliza are making flank steak.
nondescript female chef brooke and flip chrissy make hangar steak.
model kristen and housewives of NJ (carla) both make the sirloin.
aussie lizzie tackled the pressure cooker with a foreshank.
our resident sad sack, tyler, makes a hispanic style crudo with bottom round.
chilly willy (sheldon) makes a kobe round.
it's a good thing we're having steak for dinner tomorrow because i'm having a serious craving right now.
on the bottom: lizzie, eliza and the sad sack "i can't do anything right." *hangs head*
on the top: beardie II, CJ, and tucker
tucker and his forehead glasses win the quickfire and immunity from the next elimination.
appearance-wise, lizzie, eliza and brooke are interchangeable to me. i can't tell them apart. at all. except one of them has an accent.
for having been the should-be winner from season 5, stefan does not appear to be shining this season. has the caliber gone up or is he just a little rusty?
elimination challenge: revive canlis' menu from 1950 for one night. winner gets $10,000 and two chefs go home. everyone scrambles to take on their part of the menu and since he has immunity, tucker will be the expediter.
of course tucker knows a lot about 1950's cooking because he knows everything about everything.
OMG, TOO MANY CHEFS!
beardie II is making the french onion soup - i bet he could use some pointers from tucker
model kristen is lamenting because she was straddled with measly sides - sauteed mushrooms and fried onions
sara gilbert red is making dessert, the royal hawaiian supreme
chrissy is making the canlis special salad, the only item that has survived the menu for the last 60 years. no pressure here.
housewives of NJ is in charge of the quail and she's using the heel of her hand to mash it into submission.
stefan is making zee liver (i wonder if there's a pearl in it?)
CJ is making shish kebabs
aussie lizzie is making the marinated herring
sad sack tyler is making the crab cocktail, which actually looks pretty stunning
tucker is making the steamed clam bordelaise
nondescript female chef brooke is making the seafood salad a la louis
chilly willy is making the mahi-mahi with beurre blanc
soul patch is making mixed vegetables
sir bart is making double cut new york steak
josie grossy is making the gargantuan baked idaho potato. gargantuan?!?
nondescript female chef eliza is making mint sherbert and the frozen hawaiian parfait
the judges for tonight's dinner include tom colicchio, emeril, and hugh acheson. do you think hugh's eyebrows has met the forehead glasses? maybe if they did, then unibrow could see that it's in serious need of some grooming.
squabs are coming back to the kitchen - that's not good for housewives of NJ!
chef's table:
on top are stefan, model kristen, aussie lizzie and the sad sack. yay, for sad sack! and model kristen wins $10K for her measly side dishes. they must have tasted AWESOME. stefan totally wants to hook up with the model.
on the bottom are housewives of NJ, CJ, chrissy and beardie II. beardie II's soup was salty and cold and he blames tucker for his monkey expediting. chrissy's salad was over-dressed and soggy. housewives of NJ's squab was too bony and difficult to eat. CJ's shish kebabs were underseasoned and mealy. chrissy and housewives of NJ must pack their knives and go. will we miss carla in the kitchen?
oh, but they're doing last chance kitchen again this season. first battle is between jeffrey, my mom, chrissy and housewives of NJ. and the previews show colicchio sending a WHOLE TEAM home?!? what??
quotables:
"i felt like the housewives of seattle" - stefan on the current tucker drama going on in the house
"i like it super dirty" - stefan on classic martinis from the 50's
"the belgian guy that speaks french, whatever." - geography king beardie II on having the "french" guy (sir bart) make the french onion soup
"behind you. big giant...thing of...stuff." - CJ, clearly a very eloquent speaker
"josie's potato is like a planet!" - nondescript female chef on josie grossy's gargantuan baked potato
LAST CHANCE KITCHEN: the first installment pits jeffrey, kuniko, chrissy and carla against one another. their challenge: prepare a winning dish using the same ingredients that got them ousted - can be the same one or an entirely new dish but they must use the given main ingredients. kuniko is the only one of the group that chooses to make a completely different dish, she makes an asian potato chowder. tom declares that all of the contestants have presented dishes that would NOT have sent them home except carla's squab. poor housewives of NJ. kuniko's dish is the winner and she will move on to battle next week's eliminated chef.
Friday, November 30, 2012
survivor philippines: "keep your sunny side up...and suck eggs!"
Survivor Philippines, episode 11, air date Nov. 28, 2012
abi's pity party continues back at camp. "you guys were mean to me, wah." "i had no idea you guys felt that way towards me, wah." really? so you're not a mean person, you're just totally clueless?
only malcolm's heart is big enough to have sympathy for abi. AND she gets a hug out of it. jealous!
there are individual envelopes in tree mail. abi thinks it's letters from home but i see money! that only means...survivor auction time!
item #1: pancakes, bacon, OJ, syrup. for $500, goes to denise. as skupin notes, this meal would cost $1.99 at the local diner. skupin must be from a non-metropolitan area because i can't get all that around here for $1.99. maybe $5.99.
item #2: before we can even see what this item is, skupin bids $500 - this comes moments after his $1.99 comment. for wine, cheese, crackers and some dried fruit, i think? this amuses malcolm immensely. i think denise got the better deal here considering that skupin doesn't drink. AND he can't share his food with anyone so the wine goes to waste.
item #3: iced coffee and donuts, goes to malcolm for $200.
item #4: mystery tent, goes to penner, uncontested for $100. he gets fried chicken (!!!) and french fries. awesome, now i want some!
not a peep out of lisa, abi or carter yet. hmmm.
item #5: mystery item, goes to carter for $200. he gets a fully loaded baked potato BUT there's a tweest! he can trade his potato for a bag of race and a bag of beans for the tribe. will he do it? yes he does! at least he recognizes that the rice and beans at camp will go a lot further than that baked potato right now. they should've made it a tougher trade like a whole rack of ribs, an ice cream sundae and a massage...OR rice and beans for the tribe.
item #6: another mystery tent, goes to lisa for $320...just outside of carter's budget since he only has $300 left. she gets a "nice gigantic sandwich", chips and soda. is there a rule that they have to sample the food at the podium before taking it back to the bench. is this survivor's version of the money shot?
item #7: game advantage, goes to abi for $500 without hesitation. smart move on her part but hopefully she lacks the skills to take full advantage of it.
item # 8: mystery item, sold to carter for $200. why have malcolm and penner stopped bidding? he gets veal shanks with another tweest. the whole tribe gets 60 seconds to tear into those veal shanks. after the rice and beans, they really should let carter get at least a full 30 seconds to himself. or at least one shank while the rest of them share the other shanks, right? fair is fair. i mean lisa is still eating her huge sandwich!
back at camp the auction euphoria is quickly replaced with abi demanding an apology for how she was treated - in her own words, she deserves an apology because:
"for destroying me at tribal council yesterday" like you did to RC?
"i was demoralized." like you did to lisa?
"i was pointed fingers at." like you did to RC?
"i was ganged up on." like you did to RC?
"i left there crying, genuinely crying." you know, as opposed to fake crying.
penner tries to explain how he didn't do anything wrong while the rest of tribe try to ignore the conversation so they don't have to answer any of her accusations.
abi's advantage bought her an automatic pass to the final round in the immunity challenge. but her plan is to create a "fantasy" HII to trick people into not voting for her. ok well news flash, a HII will only make them vote for you to flush it out. so she plants the seed with malcolm but it doesn't seem like he buys it.
malcolm likens abi to a girlfriend who doesn't get the hint that you don't want her around anymore - hahahahaha! did i mention that i heart malcolm? never?
#immunitychallenge - holy cow, this one looks exhausting. even with the advantage of not having to compete in the first two legs, i don't think abi can pull it off. part 1 - make your way along a rope that is threaded around a hitching rail, first 5 move to the next round. part 2 - follow the rope through a series of bamboo poles, first 2 (plus abi) move to the next round. part 3 - navigate a multi-level obstacle course. and there's a tweest! at the beginning of each round there is a trivia question and an incorrect response gets you 5% of your body weight for you to carry through the challenge. THEN we get to the moment where abi gets to flex her acting muscles. oh my this is comical! she tries to act like there are 2 parts to her advantage (when has that ever happened??) and then chooses not to read the second, fake, secret part. does anyone buy this? i think most of the survivors just look confused. except for malcolm who's trying hard not to die laughing.
Q1: the philippines consists of how many islands? A. more than 5000. lisa and denise are wrong and get weight. moving on are denise, carter, malcolm, skupin and penner.
Q2: we don't get to hear what it is but denise, carter and skupin get it wrong so more weight for them. skupin and malcolm get stuck in the poles early on. penner and carter move on to the next round.
Q3: carter gets the Q wrong again and adds weight. knot untying, really?? couldn't they have attached her to a rope and make her climb up and around stuff?? ugh. and with that extremely taxing challenge, abi wins immunity. somebody shoot me. i hate that this means that she gets to stick around but i love that it'll make for a GREAT scramble!
new target is penner...and lisa is waffling. she's too attached to penner. it's dangerous to have lisa in your alliance. and apparently penner does not reciprocate since he says that lisa has lost her mind again, and calls her ridiculous. it's nice to see that the respect goes both ways. penner decides to target denise as the alterna-vote and tries to get skupin to vote with him, carter and abi.
tribal council:
- abi winks at her "friends" pete and artis. artis has already declared that he was never in an alliance with abi. i wonder if abi knows that?
- immunity has brought back bitchy abi. as denise tries to explain the group attack on abi at the last tribal, abi just dismisses her, leading artis to shake his head. some people just aren't capable of learning.
- penner is raring to go, throwing both malcolm and denise under the bus, arguing that they cannot be beaten at the end.
- malcolm points out that penner didn't trust lisa enough to align with her earlier. whoops.
- probst asks lisa about a difficult situation in her life that she can't talk about because it's too personal. WHAT IS IT?? dying to know. and did jeff know about it when he asked?
- carter hasn't made a peep nor has jeff directed any questions towards him.
- abi sticks her tongue out at denise and scowls as she goes up to vote.
- abi can't fold paper. the next immunity challenge should be based on that - origami for your lives.
- penner yells "denise" over his shoulder while voting - freakin' hilarious! but if malcolm wanted to use his HII to save someone, that's good information to have!
- 3 votes denise, 4 votes penner and penner becomes the 5th member of the jury. abi asks for a hug but she is DE-nied. "yeah no, i'm not going to hug anybody else." more hilarity from penner!
- "keep your sunny side up...and suck eggs!" penner's parting words as he whistles his way down the path. with his theatrics, one of the better survivor exits this season - right after dawson's mugging down of jeff probst.
skupin drew a big heart with an arrow through it for penner. i thought he was taking so long to vote because he was unsure. nope, he was just trying to figure out where to start his artwork. and penner wrote down "denies" on his card - intentional or dyslexia?
next week is the loved ones visit. malcolm's brother miles looks like his polar opposite - dark hair, pale, not...fit, and as it seems, not as gifted with the spoken word. i wonder what he could say that would get malcolm into trouble? also i wonder if any of the other loved ones manage to recognize lisa and blow her cover?
abi's pity party continues back at camp. "you guys were mean to me, wah." "i had no idea you guys felt that way towards me, wah." really? so you're not a mean person, you're just totally clueless?
only malcolm's heart is big enough to have sympathy for abi. AND she gets a hug out of it. jealous!
there are individual envelopes in tree mail. abi thinks it's letters from home but i see money! that only means...survivor auction time!
item #1: pancakes, bacon, OJ, syrup. for $500, goes to denise. as skupin notes, this meal would cost $1.99 at the local diner. skupin must be from a non-metropolitan area because i can't get all that around here for $1.99. maybe $5.99.
item #2: before we can even see what this item is, skupin bids $500 - this comes moments after his $1.99 comment. for wine, cheese, crackers and some dried fruit, i think? this amuses malcolm immensely. i think denise got the better deal here considering that skupin doesn't drink. AND he can't share his food with anyone so the wine goes to waste.
item #3: iced coffee and donuts, goes to malcolm for $200.
item #4: mystery tent, goes to penner, uncontested for $100. he gets fried chicken (!!!) and french fries. awesome, now i want some!
not a peep out of lisa, abi or carter yet. hmmm.
item #5: mystery item, goes to carter for $200. he gets a fully loaded baked potato BUT there's a tweest! he can trade his potato for a bag of race and a bag of beans for the tribe. will he do it? yes he does! at least he recognizes that the rice and beans at camp will go a lot further than that baked potato right now. they should've made it a tougher trade like a whole rack of ribs, an ice cream sundae and a massage...OR rice and beans for the tribe.
item #6: another mystery tent, goes to lisa for $320...just outside of carter's budget since he only has $300 left. she gets a "nice gigantic sandwich", chips and soda. is there a rule that they have to sample the food at the podium before taking it back to the bench. is this survivor's version of the money shot?
 |
| "the sandwich was THIS big!" |
item #7: game advantage, goes to abi for $500 without hesitation. smart move on her part but hopefully she lacks the skills to take full advantage of it.
item # 8: mystery item, sold to carter for $200. why have malcolm and penner stopped bidding? he gets veal shanks with another tweest. the whole tribe gets 60 seconds to tear into those veal shanks. after the rice and beans, they really should let carter get at least a full 30 seconds to himself. or at least one shank while the rest of them share the other shanks, right? fair is fair. i mean lisa is still eating her huge sandwich!
back at camp the auction euphoria is quickly replaced with abi demanding an apology for how she was treated - in her own words, she deserves an apology because:
"for destroying me at tribal council yesterday" like you did to RC?
"i was demoralized." like you did to lisa?
"i was pointed fingers at." like you did to RC?
"i was ganged up on." like you did to RC?
"i left there crying, genuinely crying." you know, as opposed to fake crying.
penner tries to explain how he didn't do anything wrong while the rest of tribe try to ignore the conversation so they don't have to answer any of her accusations.
 |
| "wow, that is the most interesting ocean i've ever seen!" |
abi's advantage bought her an automatic pass to the final round in the immunity challenge. but her plan is to create a "fantasy" HII to trick people into not voting for her. ok well news flash, a HII will only make them vote for you to flush it out. so she plants the seed with malcolm but it doesn't seem like he buys it.
malcolm likens abi to a girlfriend who doesn't get the hint that you don't want her around anymore - hahahahaha! did i mention that i heart malcolm? never?
#immunitychallenge - holy cow, this one looks exhausting. even with the advantage of not having to compete in the first two legs, i don't think abi can pull it off. part 1 - make your way along a rope that is threaded around a hitching rail, first 5 move to the next round. part 2 - follow the rope through a series of bamboo poles, first 2 (plus abi) move to the next round. part 3 - navigate a multi-level obstacle course. and there's a tweest! at the beginning of each round there is a trivia question and an incorrect response gets you 5% of your body weight for you to carry through the challenge. THEN we get to the moment where abi gets to flex her acting muscles. oh my this is comical! she tries to act like there are 2 parts to her advantage (when has that ever happened??) and then chooses not to read the second, fake, secret part. does anyone buy this? i think most of the survivors just look confused. except for malcolm who's trying hard not to die laughing.
Q1: the philippines consists of how many islands? A. more than 5000. lisa and denise are wrong and get weight. moving on are denise, carter, malcolm, skupin and penner.
Q2: we don't get to hear what it is but denise, carter and skupin get it wrong so more weight for them. skupin and malcolm get stuck in the poles early on. penner and carter move on to the next round.
Q3: carter gets the Q wrong again and adds weight. knot untying, really?? couldn't they have attached her to a rope and make her climb up and around stuff?? ugh. and with that extremely taxing challenge, abi wins immunity. somebody shoot me. i hate that this means that she gets to stick around but i love that it'll make for a GREAT scramble!
new target is penner...and lisa is waffling. she's too attached to penner. it's dangerous to have lisa in your alliance. and apparently penner does not reciprocate since he says that lisa has lost her mind again, and calls her ridiculous. it's nice to see that the respect goes both ways. penner decides to target denise as the alterna-vote and tries to get skupin to vote with him, carter and abi.
tribal council:
- abi winks at her "friends" pete and artis. artis has already declared that he was never in an alliance with abi. i wonder if abi knows that?
- immunity has brought back bitchy abi. as denise tries to explain the group attack on abi at the last tribal, abi just dismisses her, leading artis to shake his head. some people just aren't capable of learning.
- penner is raring to go, throwing both malcolm and denise under the bus, arguing that they cannot be beaten at the end.
- malcolm points out that penner didn't trust lisa enough to align with her earlier. whoops.
- probst asks lisa about a difficult situation in her life that she can't talk about because it's too personal. WHAT IS IT?? dying to know. and did jeff know about it when he asked?
- carter hasn't made a peep nor has jeff directed any questions towards him.
- abi sticks her tongue out at denise and scowls as she goes up to vote.
- abi can't fold paper. the next immunity challenge should be based on that - origami for your lives.
- penner yells "denise" over his shoulder while voting - freakin' hilarious! but if malcolm wanted to use his HII to save someone, that's good information to have!
- 3 votes denise, 4 votes penner and penner becomes the 5th member of the jury. abi asks for a hug but she is DE-nied. "yeah no, i'm not going to hug anybody else." more hilarity from penner!
- "keep your sunny side up...and suck eggs!" penner's parting words as he whistles his way down the path. with his theatrics, one of the better survivor exits this season - right after dawson's mugging down of jeff probst.
 |
| the bitch is back! |
skupin drew a big heart with an arrow through it for penner. i thought he was taking so long to vote because he was unsure. nope, he was just trying to figure out where to start his artwork. and penner wrote down "denies" on his card - intentional or dyslexia?
next week is the loved ones visit. malcolm's brother miles looks like his polar opposite - dark hair, pale, not...fit, and as it seems, not as gifted with the spoken word. i wonder what he could say that would get malcolm into trouble? also i wonder if any of the other loved ones manage to recognize lisa and blow her cover?
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
survivor philippines: "whiners are wieners"
Survivor Philippines, episode 10, air date Nov. 21, 2012
now that abi is no longer controlling things, she finally manages to have a reasonable, respectful conversation with lisa. she tells lisa that the only reason why the Others were nice to her was because they were playing the game, they want forgiveness so they can win the game later. strange that abi recognizes the merit in that strategy but fails to utilize it herself. you're never going to win!!
#rewardchallenge - again the survivors are split into teams and it requires the flipping of huge drums. the teams are malcolm/carter/pete/abi vs. penner/skupin/denise/lis - so counting carter as a girl, it's two guys and two girls on each team. abi fails terribly because she has no idea what she's doing and instead of competing, she actually helps the other team flip their drum and score a point. unfortunately she still gets to go on reward because her tribe wins the challenge.
what they played for: spa days! they get manis, pedis, massages and baths which means malcolm gets to wash his long, luxurious locks (he looked absolutely thrilled about the idea). and food - chicken, beef, shrimp skewers, fried calamari and cocktails. they all agree to not talk strategy and just enjoy a day off with the young, hip crowd. that works for malcolm since he doesn't want to align with any of them but abi and pete are stupid if they don't take advantage of this time away.
i guess pete IS stupid since he agrees not to talk shop. opportunity wasted.
carter decides to feed malcolm grapes in the bath. ok, that was a little weird. but then again who can blame him, who can resist the charm?
malcolm comes back to camp looking like a pantene commercial [will insert picture later]. abi is just lighting things up:
-abi can't stop gloating about the reward - how beautiful everything was and how she stuffed her big belly is. just. can't. stop. she even interrupts carter so she could continue gushing about calamari. the other rewardees are looking super uncomfortable and are silently willing her to shut. the. F. up.
- the tribemates are talking about abi and her lack of social skills WHILE SHE'S LAYING RIGHT NEXT TO THEM. she's all "what? what? what's up with me?" no, they lie, not talking about you at all.
- abi declares that she not doing any more kitchen duty ever. she figures since her days are numbered, she may as well kick back and chill. penner asks her if she still expects to eat for the next 5 days. "oh i don't want to cook, but i definitely do want to eat. i don't want to starve to death!" crazy.
- denise gives us our title quote and tells us she can't wait to tell abi that "whiners are wieners" as she sends her packing. really, denise? must be a sex therapy motto.
skupin decides to talk strategy with malcolm and the two discuss going final four with skupin/lisa & malcolm/denise. of course when skupin tres to firm up the plan with lisa, she would rather go with penner. damn you woman! stop trying to undercut my malcolm. instead of lisa, malcolm should have suggested penner. luckily penner doesn't want to talk alliances until peter and abi are gone. i don't know how smart that was of penner but for the time being, it saves matsing.
if pete wins immunity, these guys are hosed!
#immunity challenge - buoy moving. this is another multi-part challenge. part 1 - move your buoy through tangled rope, first 5 done move on. part 2 - shake your buoy along a balance beam, first 3 move to the final round. part 3 - maneuver your buoy through the water. please let anyone but pete win. i would also root against abi but she'll never win anything. woo-hoo, malcolm, penner, denise, skupin, and carter take the first round so that means pete and abi are both out of this! now it doesn't matter who wins. skupin, carter and denise go to the final round. it's a very close battle between these 3 as the alternately take the lead but carter ends up the big wiener on this one. yay for not-pete!
i am LOVING these hobbit special peeks! can't wait until december 14th! a friend recently asked me "what is a bag end?" smh.
pete and abi start the scramble and their alterna-vote target is malcolm. they approach lisa but she's already given her word to the six and will not budge. skupin on the other hand is swayed - and scared - by the idea that malcolm could be tough to beat. malcolm catches wind of the conversations going on and is now on alert. hopefully he plays his idol if he needs to.
tribal council:
- abi cannot stop smiling at artis. what's up with that?
- add lip-reading to malcolm's growing list of talents.
- there are no hidden strategies here yet there's still a huge question mark about how they (skupin) will vote.
- abi uses ESL as the reason that she is misunderstood by her tribemates.
- abi is hurt and may burst into tears. and she has no idea she was unlikable. she is finally hearing the truth about her abrasive personality and she just can't handle it. she has no idea how she talks to people and how hurtful her words and attitude towards others can be. hope she watches this season and really sees herself.
- RC can't stop smiling. can't say i blame her.
- abi plays her HII but malcolm does not. yikes, nervous!
- 3 invalid votes for abi, 2 votes for malcolm and 3 votes for pete and this season's mastermind is sent home.
abi has been SO mean to some of the of the other survivors, RC in particular. i find it almost impossible to believe that she had no idea and as jeff said it's a "cultural" thing. the laughing, smirking and snickering about people is not cultural. the verbal beatdowns - NOT cultural. she was cruel and did not give a shit about anyone else's feelings. but when the tables were turned, she became a blubbering mess - much like our previous mean girl, colton. this is what power does to people, people. when they're on top, they step all over everyone but they forget this is a social game. you need people to like you to win. i really hope the next episode includes one of those quiz-about-the-tribemates challenges but i don't think jeff has it in his heart to abuse abi any more. now that jeff has seen her behavior at camp, i wonder if he still thinks she's "misunderstood"? maybe i'll tweet him up and find out! UPDATE: no direct response but he did say this "Hey guys - love the responses! I wasn't intending to be hard on Abi, I was just trying to make it clear what the tribe was saying."
ok so i feel a little bad that abi has been reduced to tears. i don't want to see that. i want her to stand tall and own up to her mean girl ways. hopefully she'll get herself together next week so i can be happy when she's sent packing.
now that abi is no longer controlling things, she finally manages to have a reasonable, respectful conversation with lisa. she tells lisa that the only reason why the Others were nice to her was because they were playing the game, they want forgiveness so they can win the game later. strange that abi recognizes the merit in that strategy but fails to utilize it herself. you're never going to win!!
#rewardchallenge - again the survivors are split into teams and it requires the flipping of huge drums. the teams are malcolm/carter/pete/abi vs. penner/skupin/denise/lis - so counting carter as a girl, it's two guys and two girls on each team. abi fails terribly because she has no idea what she's doing and instead of competing, she actually helps the other team flip their drum and score a point. unfortunately she still gets to go on reward because her tribe wins the challenge.
what they played for: spa days! they get manis, pedis, massages and baths which means malcolm gets to wash his long, luxurious locks (he looked absolutely thrilled about the idea). and food - chicken, beef, shrimp skewers, fried calamari and cocktails. they all agree to not talk strategy and just enjoy a day off with the young, hip crowd. that works for malcolm since he doesn't want to align with any of them but abi and pete are stupid if they don't take advantage of this time away.
i guess pete IS stupid since he agrees not to talk shop. opportunity wasted.
carter decides to feed malcolm grapes in the bath. ok, that was a little weird. but then again who can blame him, who can resist the charm?
malcolm comes back to camp looking like a pantene commercial [will insert picture later]. abi is just lighting things up:
-abi can't stop gloating about the reward - how beautiful everything was and how she stuffed her big belly is. just. can't. stop. she even interrupts carter so she could continue gushing about calamari. the other rewardees are looking super uncomfortable and are silently willing her to shut. the. F. up.
- the tribemates are talking about abi and her lack of social skills WHILE SHE'S LAYING RIGHT NEXT TO THEM. she's all "what? what? what's up with me?" no, they lie, not talking about you at all.
- abi declares that she not doing any more kitchen duty ever. she figures since her days are numbered, she may as well kick back and chill. penner asks her if she still expects to eat for the next 5 days. "oh i don't want to cook, but i definitely do want to eat. i don't want to starve to death!" crazy.
- denise gives us our title quote and tells us she can't wait to tell abi that "whiners are wieners" as she sends her packing. really, denise? must be a sex therapy motto.
 |
| it was like, the most beautiful thing i've ever seen...oh, my stomach, i was like, eating like a crazy woman...i felt like a princess |
skupin decides to talk strategy with malcolm and the two discuss going final four with skupin/lisa & malcolm/denise. of course when skupin tres to firm up the plan with lisa, she would rather go with penner. damn you woman! stop trying to undercut my malcolm. instead of lisa, malcolm should have suggested penner. luckily penner doesn't want to talk alliances until peter and abi are gone. i don't know how smart that was of penner but for the time being, it saves matsing.
if pete wins immunity, these guys are hosed!
#immunity challenge - buoy moving. this is another multi-part challenge. part 1 - move your buoy through tangled rope, first 5 done move on. part 2 - shake your buoy along a balance beam, first 3 move to the final round. part 3 - maneuver your buoy through the water. please let anyone but pete win. i would also root against abi but she'll never win anything. woo-hoo, malcolm, penner, denise, skupin, and carter take the first round so that means pete and abi are both out of this! now it doesn't matter who wins. skupin, carter and denise go to the final round. it's a very close battle between these 3 as the alternately take the lead but carter ends up the big wiener on this one. yay for not-pete!
i am LOVING these hobbit special peeks! can't wait until december 14th! a friend recently asked me "what is a bag end?" smh.
 |
| my precioussssss |
pete and abi start the scramble and their alterna-vote target is malcolm. they approach lisa but she's already given her word to the six and will not budge. skupin on the other hand is swayed - and scared - by the idea that malcolm could be tough to beat. malcolm catches wind of the conversations going on and is now on alert. hopefully he plays his idol if he needs to.
tribal council:
- abi cannot stop smiling at artis. what's up with that?
- add lip-reading to malcolm's growing list of talents.
- there are no hidden strategies here yet there's still a huge question mark about how they (skupin) will vote.
- abi uses ESL as the reason that she is misunderstood by her tribemates.
- abi is hurt and may burst into tears. and she has no idea she was unlikable. she is finally hearing the truth about her abrasive personality and she just can't handle it. she has no idea how she talks to people and how hurtful her words and attitude towards others can be. hope she watches this season and really sees herself.
- RC can't stop smiling. can't say i blame her.
- abi plays her HII but malcolm does not. yikes, nervous!
- 3 invalid votes for abi, 2 votes for malcolm and 3 votes for pete and this season's mastermind is sent home.
abi has been SO mean to some of the of the other survivors, RC in particular. i find it almost impossible to believe that she had no idea and as jeff said it's a "cultural" thing. the laughing, smirking and snickering about people is not cultural. the verbal beatdowns - NOT cultural. she was cruel and did not give a shit about anyone else's feelings. but when the tables were turned, she became a blubbering mess - much like our previous mean girl, colton. this is what power does to people, people. when they're on top, they step all over everyone but they forget this is a social game. you need people to like you to win. i really hope the next episode includes one of those quiz-about-the-tribemates challenges but i don't think jeff has it in his heart to abuse abi any more. now that jeff has seen her behavior at camp, i wonder if he still thinks she's "misunderstood"? maybe i'll tweet him up and find out! UPDATE: no direct response but he did say this "Hey guys - love the responses! I wasn't intending to be hard on Abi, I was just trying to make it clear what the tribe was saying."
 |
| nobody likes me? wah! |
Thursday, November 15, 2012
survivor philippines: "she found a clam. yay. whoopee."
Survivor Philippines, episode 09, air date Nov. 14, 2012
after returning from tribal council, abi attacks skupin for voting for her. the nerve of that guy! after skupin denies it, penner steps up and says yup it was me. she actually sounded surprised and a little bit hurt by it.
penner realizes that he sort of screwed up the vote by voting for abi. it's hard to believe that a great player like penner had such a major brain fart at this crucial moment. it turns out lisa's "plan b" comment threw him for a loop and he was no longer clear which plan to follow. these guys need to come up with some hand signals or codes or something. is that against survivor rules? and we learn that carter can count to 10 if he uses all his fingers.
love that malcolm checks to see if lisa is OK, even after she betrayed him. what a great (smokin' hot) guy!
and then penner has his own tender moments with lisa. aw, very sweet. will it help penner win over lisa and save his ass tonight? i hope so!
#rewardchallenge - again, the teams are split in my favor. and since jeff tells us it's a school yard pick, now we know why. and abi gets to sit out because no one picks her - sweet justice! in this challenge, the survivors have to crawl through mud, climb an A frame, dig for a bag of balls, crawl through rice (awesome visual gag as the rice sticks to the mud) to the final table. once all bags are collected, they must then throw all 12 balls into a tall, funnel-like basket. the dream team of malcolm/penner/carter/denise get a HUGE advantage when penner decides to dig out all 4 bags of balls before completing his leg of the challenge. as team lisa/pete/artis/skupin fall further behind, they seem to slow way down. i mean artis is seriously dragging ass as he gets his bag and crawls through the rice. there is some tension at the end because the team matbaw has a hard time landing that last ball but they do and hooray, they win reward!
what they played for: a visit to a local village where the survivors get to deliver supplies and toys to the kids and then share in a native feast. yay for authentic filipino food! i definitely see some lechon (roast pig) but everything else goes by so fast i can't tell what it is. for sure there were crabs, shrimp, chicken, beer, rice, watermelon, noodles, ribs, bananas and a whole lot of other food!
funny moment #1: penner tells the kids that in america his name is normal. so all the kids call him "normal"
malcolm interacts with the kids *awww*. malcolm talks about how much he misses teaching elementary school kids *swoon*. malcolm attempts to hula hoop *drool*.
funny moment #2: while the survivors sit to eat and strategize, there's a random guy (villager? crew member? beer wench?) sitting with them. i hope he gave them some good tips.
meanwhile back at camp, tandang is angry and bitter. and for some hilarious reason, artis is still covered with rice. abi decides to give lisa a verbal beatdown because apparently she thinks has been giving all their secrets away by playing the double agent. um, really? no, i'm sure abi was the one waving her HII around and telling everyone exactly where they stood in the pecking order last night at tribal. unfortunately lisa doesn't get to explain anything to abi because as usual, she talks over her and refuses to listen - a typical abi conversation. artis calls abi a clueless, loose cannon who needs to shut up before she destroys everything. amen, sister! now go take a bath.
#immunitychallenge - this seems like the world's hardest immunity challenge. i know jeff (now that jeff kent is gone i can stop calling him probst) has said that all of their challenges are tested by the dream team so obviously it's doable. the survivors had to maneuver balls into 6 indented spots on a large paddle while controlling the paddle by a long handle - i envisioned all the placed balls rolling off as they tried to place the next ones. skupin and pete manage to figure it out but they are the only ones. pete loses two of his balls (ha ha) in the final stretch and skupin wins immunity.
during this challenge my husband asks why jeff keeps calling him "scoopin". really? obviously it's because he's the one who puts the raisins in the raisin bran.
side note: at the beginning when jeff goes to retrieve the immunity necklace from penner, is it just me or does carter eye penner like he's a big juicy piece of chicken?
so penner does not win immunity. rut-ro! let's see if penner can scramble enough to save himself a second time. he works both lisa and skupin to get them to vote with him. skupin says his loyalty is to lisa and he will vote with her. lisa is waffling again. i don't see any real conviction from her that she is going to flip. abi, on the other hand, is so annoyed with skupin that she wishes he could go home instead. in fact she tries to kill him with a coconut! for once skupin's injury is not self-inflicted.
as we head into tribal council, tandang is voting for penner (of course) and kalabawsing is voting for artis.
tribal council:
- the newly cleaned, fed and juried jeff kent has acquired a wooly worm on his lip.
- abi obviously has no clue what it means to show grace. if this is her being graceful i shudder to think what see her bitchy, cantankerous, abrasive side looks like.
- artis claims tandang is the most powerful tribe in history. i wonder if he'll kiss his biceps again?
- abi calls out lisa as a possible betrayer and may have put the final nail in tandang's coffin. oops!
- although i'm not really an advocate of giving away an idol, NOW would be a fantastic time for malcolm to give his idol to penner!
- 4 votes penner, 5 votes artis, so long artis! abi's reaction was priceless as she looks around trying to figure out who did what. what a marooon! i'll have to rewind and watch that again, a few times.
- RC is beyond thrilled while pete and abi look despondent.
- so based on this vote, lisa and skupin did not vote together...hmmm. i wonder if lisa flipped at the last minute thanks to abi and her big mouth?
and just like that, the evil three has been dismantled and the game is now a free-for-all. the final credits reveal skupin as the betrayer. it's about time skupin stopped being tandang's punching bag. now he's less annoying to me and i'm happy to have him stick around a little longer. it looks like next week we get to see abi grovel and feel like the outcast for once - CAN'T WAIT!
ps - i apologize for the poor quality of my "screen caps". i had to resort to the old hold-the-tape-recorder-up-to-the-radio method.
after returning from tribal council, abi attacks skupin for voting for her. the nerve of that guy! after skupin denies it, penner steps up and says yup it was me. she actually sounded surprised and a little bit hurt by it.
penner realizes that he sort of screwed up the vote by voting for abi. it's hard to believe that a great player like penner had such a major brain fart at this crucial moment. it turns out lisa's "plan b" comment threw him for a loop and he was no longer clear which plan to follow. these guys need to come up with some hand signals or codes or something. is that against survivor rules? and we learn that carter can count to 10 if he uses all his fingers.
love that malcolm checks to see if lisa is OK, even after she betrayed him. what a great (smokin' hot) guy!
and then penner has his own tender moments with lisa. aw, very sweet. will it help penner win over lisa and save his ass tonight? i hope so!
#rewardchallenge - again, the teams are split in my favor. and since jeff tells us it's a school yard pick, now we know why. and abi gets to sit out because no one picks her - sweet justice! in this challenge, the survivors have to crawl through mud, climb an A frame, dig for a bag of balls, crawl through rice (awesome visual gag as the rice sticks to the mud) to the final table. once all bags are collected, they must then throw all 12 balls into a tall, funnel-like basket. the dream team of malcolm/penner/carter/denise get a HUGE advantage when penner decides to dig out all 4 bags of balls before completing his leg of the challenge. as team lisa/pete/artis/skupin fall further behind, they seem to slow way down. i mean artis is seriously dragging ass as he gets his bag and crawls through the rice. there is some tension at the end because the team matbaw has a hard time landing that last ball but they do and hooray, they win reward!
 |
| it's the riceman! |
funny moment #1: penner tells the kids that in america his name is normal. so all the kids call him "normal"
malcolm interacts with the kids *awww*. malcolm talks about how much he misses teaching elementary school kids *swoon*. malcolm attempts to hula hoop *drool*.
funny moment #2: while the survivors sit to eat and strategize, there's a random guy (villager? crew member? beer wench?) sitting with them. i hope he gave them some good tips.
meanwhile back at camp, tandang is angry and bitter. and for some hilarious reason, artis is still covered with rice. abi decides to give lisa a verbal beatdown because apparently she thinks has been giving all their secrets away by playing the double agent. um, really? no, i'm sure abi was the one waving her HII around and telling everyone exactly where they stood in the pecking order last night at tribal. unfortunately lisa doesn't get to explain anything to abi because as usual, she talks over her and refuses to listen - a typical abi conversation. artis calls abi a clueless, loose cannon who needs to shut up before she destroys everything. amen, sister! now go take a bath.
 |
| maybe i can save this rice for later if i get hungry? |
#immunitychallenge - this seems like the world's hardest immunity challenge. i know jeff (now that jeff kent is gone i can stop calling him probst) has said that all of their challenges are tested by the dream team so obviously it's doable. the survivors had to maneuver balls into 6 indented spots on a large paddle while controlling the paddle by a long handle - i envisioned all the placed balls rolling off as they tried to place the next ones. skupin and pete manage to figure it out but they are the only ones. pete loses two of his balls (ha ha) in the final stretch and skupin wins immunity.
during this challenge my husband asks why jeff keeps calling him "scoopin". really? obviously it's because he's the one who puts the raisins in the raisin bran.
side note: at the beginning when jeff goes to retrieve the immunity necklace from penner, is it just me or does carter eye penner like he's a big juicy piece of chicken?
 |
| oh |
 |
| yeah |
 |
| yum |
 |
| abi tries to get skupin medically evacuated again |
tribal council:
- the newly cleaned, fed and juried jeff kent has acquired a wooly worm on his lip.
- abi obviously has no clue what it means to show grace. if this is her being graceful i shudder to think what see her bitchy, cantankerous, abrasive side looks like.
- artis claims tandang is the most powerful tribe in history. i wonder if he'll kiss his biceps again?
- abi calls out lisa as a possible betrayer and may have put the final nail in tandang's coffin. oops!
- although i'm not really an advocate of giving away an idol, NOW would be a fantastic time for malcolm to give his idol to penner!
- 4 votes penner, 5 votes artis, so long artis! abi's reaction was priceless as she looks around trying to figure out who did what. what a marooon! i'll have to rewind and watch that again, a few times.
- RC is beyond thrilled while pete and abi look despondent.
- so based on this vote, lisa and skupin did not vote together...hmmm. i wonder if lisa flipped at the last minute thanks to abi and her big mouth?
 |
| ohhhh frak. |
and just like that, the evil three has been dismantled and the game is now a free-for-all. the final credits reveal skupin as the betrayer. it's about time skupin stopped being tandang's punching bag. now he's less annoying to me and i'm happy to have him stick around a little longer. it looks like next week we get to see abi grovel and feel like the outcast for once - CAN'T WAIT!
ps - i apologize for the poor quality of my "screen caps". i had to resort to the old hold-the-tape-recorder-up-to-the-radio method.
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